WRITER: 40 years CAT TOY: 29 years MOTHER: 16 years SNARK HUNTER: 14 years JEWELRY ARTISTE: 10 years SPIDER KEEPER: 1 year 110 YEARS EXPERIENCE in 47 YEARS VOTE FOR ME
Not only are your sponsored posts on my dashboard guaranteed to get blocked, but they also (almost) guarantee I will never buy anything from your company ever.
This is definitely the strangest inspiration I’ve ever had for a story. While browsing in a clothing store one evening, I found a pair of jeans with a tag reading “Galactic Wash.” The phrase struck a chord, though I wasn’t sure what kind just yet. I wrote it down and saved it for two or three years, until called upon to write a short-short story for a writing course during my senior year in college. This was the result.
Hey, Ganymede, another round of the good stuff for my friends and me.
Don’t worry, I’ll get this one. I got lucky at the chariot races today.
Thanks, son. Put it on the tab.
Look at old Hercules over there, stewed to the gills again, acting like he’s Zeus’s gift to women. Reminds me of that crazy guy I met in the laundry last Friday.
Didn’t I tell you about that? Well, he was a strange one. I was just in there doing my usual wash job – a few centurions, a senator or two – getting them cleaned up before they had to go in for final judgment. In walks this guy with an old sweatshirt on, jeans, tennis shoes. It didn’t surprise me much – those later-periodfellahs are pretty casual. Then I saw on the back of his sweatshirt, it said GOD in big red letters.
Well, I thought, who does he think he is? I don’t run around with a sweatshirt with GOD on the back. None of you guys do. I mean, it’s redundant, right? So I looked around to see what he was up to.
He had an old laundry basket with his soap in it, and this blue and green rock of a planet.
You bet I was surprised! This guy was downright ambitious, I guess. I went over kind of casual-like, just to get a closer look. It was really a mess.
This GOD guy looks at me and says, “Hi there,” real friendly like.
“Hi,” I said. “Kind of a big load there, huh?”
“Oh yeah,” he says. “But it’s been a while since I washed the whole thing.” Then he holds it up, like to give me a better look at it. I could see there was a sort of film of dirt all over it. There wasn’t hardly anything on it but people and dirt.
I says, “Hey, are you gonna put all those people in there too?” Cause I thought, boy would that make a mess in the washer. And you know how you always lose one or two if you put too many in at once.
“Yeah, guess so,” he says. “It’s okay, though – there’s so many of them that I can afford to lose a few.” Like he’d been reading my mind or something!
“Well, good luck anyway,” I says, and he chucks the whole thing into the washer.
I wish I could have hung around to see how it came out.
You’re finished? How about another round? Okay, I’ll let you get this one. There goes Hercules, right under the table. Some hero.
9/29/13 Sunday 73°
Reading: The Essential Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe; Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension by Earl Mac Rauch
Last TV watched: “Hogan’s Heroes”
Last movie watched: Ghostbusters
Things continue pretty much the same. We had a few chilly days, and it rained Friday night and all yesterday morning. Now we’re supposed to have a couple of warmer days and then it’s going to turn into Oktober weather. I’m trying not to mind.
The garden is still doing well. But I spotted a scrape on my little squash today, like something tried to take a bite out of it. That makes me not happy. It’s my only squash. I think I’m going to try planting some more next year. The plants did well once they got started. I think they just didn’t have enough time growing in the really warm weather.
I picked a bean the other day that had been on the vine for quite a while. The seeds inside were roughly the same size as the ones I buy to plant, so rather than eating them I let them sit and dry out. I’m going to plant them next year. There are only five, but I think it could be an interesting experiment. Monsanto be damned!
The morning glory vines gave gone so crazy that I can no longer take my bird feeder down to refill it. They’ve grown all around the handle of the feeder and basically tied it to the plant. I had to have R hold it up today so I could refill it. There was no way of untangling it that I could see, at least not without getting up on a stepladder and/or cutting some vines. The birds don’t seem to mind it anyway. I’m surprised no squirrels have taken advantage of the “ladder”.
So I got all my chapter divisions done in the manuscript on Friday. I came out with twenty chapters, plus a prologue which is the part where Seth visits Ryan in prison. Then there will be the appendix with what I wrote of OCL. I don’t intend to finish it, but some reader might find it interesting. And I’m going to put in a little author’s note about how this book was originally meant to tie in with my others. But I STILL have no title! And right now I have trouble even considering the question of one. I just meet a blank mental wall when I try to think about it.
Last night I pulled out my folder of stories from my Green Crest days. I hoped to find my original version of TOTSIA, but sadly all I had was the “last” chapter, from my last issue. There are a bunch of my other stories in there though. I’m thinking of posting them on my tumblr blog, just for the hell of it. I’ve been posting some of my old journal entries on there lately, for the same reason. I doubt anybody’s reading, but at least I have content.